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No. 107 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]

[Tags: shota, trap, demon, transformation, cross dressing, loli-ish, deepthroat, mind control, mind break]

]]Author Note: Hey there everyone, long time lurker, first time poster here. I'm looking for some critique for my work so that I can maybe get better at writing. I don't really know how to write this kind of stuff yet and so this is just a giant experiment on my part. I posted my story to Hentai Foundry so that the bit of italics I used in the later chapters would be preserved. So if you don't want to be confused by the inner thought, you might want to go over to there to read it instead. http://www.hentai-foundry.com/stories/user/BlazingPhoenix/10363/The-Adventures-of-Girly-Incubus

Lastly, thanks for reading.

Chapter 0 – My work

Tonight’s catch has a lovely, 12 inch cock. Feeling it pound my butt was amazing. But there is one thing I love more than that feeling. I love sucking cocks. It is rather strange when I think about it. Having this massive dick wrapped up in my full, warm lips and tongue. Sliding along its saliva slickened hard surface back and forth, all the while listening to this grown man’s pleasured moans. Then I remember how good it feels to deep throat a man and get wet and horny simply off that sensation alone. Being an incubus is so easy. It didn’t take much work to get into this guy’s pants and now that we are this far, I know that he can’t help himself. He doesn’t even care anymore that I’m a boy. Just to be safe I kept my demonically tainted features hidden though. Wouldn’t want him freaking out mid-blowjob. My special saliva aphrodisiac made sure that he was good and horny. It also made sure that his already magnificent cock grew an extra 5 inches and another inch around. As I force my face farther down his thick cock, his moans get more breathy and uncontrolled. This appears to be his first breaking point as he grabs my long black hair right at the back of my head with both hands and slams my face violently into his crotch. He holds me there and deeply in
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>> No. 111 [Report]

Thanks for the tip, I fixed it over on HF and I'll be sure to give some linebreaks to my next post here whenever I have it ready. I was wondering how to make the text look more fluid. XD


>> No. 112 [Report]

]] Author Note: Alright, finally got this done. Hopefully I can get chapter 3 done this weekend, but I doubt it will work. As always, please tell me what you think. I am very open to critique.
Also if you want to read it with the correct italics and stuff then go here: http://www.hentai-foundry.com/stories/user/BlazingPhoenix/10363/The-Adventures-of-Girly-Incubus

--------------------------

I had my expectations about Brittney’s father and what I wanted to do with him. But when we walked into that living room and I saw him sitting there on the couch, it took all I had not to run up and drop to my knees in front of him. His body was perfectly toned. Clearly he works out a lot. His arms were big and well built. They could easily lift Brittney or me off the ground.

With a shaky voice, Brittney called out, “Hello Father, I hope you don’t mind that I brought a friend over.”
He coldly looked over in my direction and quickly snapped, “Get out. I don’t need any of my daughter’s whore friends hanging around in my house.”

Okay, change of plans. I had thought Brittney was only exaggerating when she said her father doesn’t like guests, but he is clearly a terrible person based on his dismissiveness of her and someone she would call a friend. This guy is worth stealing a soul from but nothing more. I decided to intervene by sending a soothing mind spell through the air in his

direction. It would get us to Brittney’s room where I could make plans but still leave him mostly in control of himself. It would keep things interesting when we were ready, can’t just take over everyone’s mind right from the start. It gets quite boring after a while. “Now look,” I said to him, “All I want to do is talk with Brittney for a little while in her room; I promise I’ll leave soon.
“Fine. But don’t stay for too long.”

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>> No. 176 [Report]

dose anyone have the full pdf of this story it got taken down with alot of the other good stuff on hf an ive been looking all over for a copy




No. 158 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]
158

File the-kings-harem-1280x800.jpg


since she didn't consider Eurasian boys to be men, on her return trips to Morroco, she would have Elliot sleep in the women's concubine quarter in the harem. It sounds hot being with a bunch of naked harem slaves. But he wasn't considered a man, he was treated as a cunt-slave himself. Harem slaves are notoriously catty, and they had never seen a Eurasian femboy before. They loved lording it over him, and tormenting him like he was just another girl. He was basically forced to serve as a Eunuch in a Moroccan harem. 




harems are supposed to be the happiest place on earth. Elliot couldn't even get laid in a Moroccan harem. Even concubine slaves just considered him a fellow harem sister and abused his tiny manhood. or boyhood I should say. 




harem slaves are so used to being abused by their Masters. Elliot thought they would welcome a Nice Guy Gentleman who treated them with respect. Instead they considered such feminine weakness, a sign he was just another womanly harem slave himself and abused him as such. They tortured him for their misogynistic master instead of rewarding him for being a White Knight rescuer. They gave him the same hazing they do to the new freshman slaves.' 




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No. 51 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]

Summary: A lonely math teacher finds a homeless girl hiding in his porch in a particularly rainy day and takes her in. Struggling with his strong pedophile tendencies, moral limits becomes blurry.

TAGS: Mg, dubcon, slow, Mdom, (Maybe a few will change)

Warning: Don't expect a quick fap. I like the tension and the story will progress at a slow pace. It is my first time posting here and English is not my first language.

=============================================
=============================================

STRAY
Chapter one – Matheus’ point of view –

Routine is a nice thing. Not, you know, the most necessary thing of all, I’m not that sick. Well, at least not because of that. But, anyway, routine is the way I know everything is going just right.
My routine starts at 6 am. I take a quick shower, put on some clothes, brush my teeth, eat a pair of toasts with some juice, brush my teeth again, grab my papers and keys and go to school, try to get teenagers to learn math, get out, stop on the market and buy groceries and a little something for the stray dog that decided to live on my front yard, feed said dog, go inside, have lunch, do whatever’s left of my work and then basically do whatever I want, usually means video games, some internet and running in the little park in front of my house.
Today, like every day, should be no different, with the exception of a little meeting among teachers. Little did I know.
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>> No. 65 [Report]

Gonna keep bumping this as this is a very close parallel to a fantasy of my own.


>> No. 156 [Report]

bump :)~


>> No. 157 [Report]

BUMP :)~




No. 138 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]

I"m not tagging this and I apologize. But some tags may ruin the surprises in this story. However I do ask if people want me to continue or not.

“Happy twenty-second birthday” She said. There my girlfriend was on top of me in my bed. Her piercing green eyes looking down at me, the prettiest smile I had ever seen, thick red hair. I know you are all probably wondering what is going on. Well In order to tell you I am going to have to back up a bit, four years actually. Well a little more. It was about three months before my eighteenth birthday. It’s a fun story too, I mean It has its sad moments and shows how much of a jerk I am, but at the same time it is fun well, I think it is, maybe you won’t. Either way I am going to tell you how I ended up with my girlfriend.

Chapter 1:
“I’m kicking your ass” Jenn laughed as she killed me yet again in Call of Duty. I wasn’t keeping score but had I been, it was probably about twenty to zero. I wasn’t a gamer and the games I did play were things like Mario brothers. Still even that was kind of lame as I didn’t own a video game console, but my computer did have an emulator. My girlfriend however was your typical gamer girl. Sex was not an option and food came in pizza boxes or vending machines. Her life revolved around statistics and leaderboards. Personally most guys thought she was awesome and really all I wanted was to spend the afternoon making out. It was warm and school had let out early since summer was around the corner and se high school students had no exams that thursday. I literally had about four hours before her parents would get home, but instead Call of Duty was her idea of fun. I was seventeen at the time and she was fourteen. Maybe it was just too early for her to have sex but it was starting to bug me. I had been waiting all year for it.

Actually backing up a bit more I had just moved to the city about a year ago, just as school began, so I was pretty new. Jenn was the first friend I made, though I have no idea how, and we became a couple.

Anyway I was tired of dying. My exams were doen for the summer. She still had two left and her twin sister had one. I was also pretty good f
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>> No. 153 [Report]

Hey sorry for no updates. been sick and in no mood to write.


>> No. 154 [Report]

Chapter 7:

By mid-October I had managed to get a job at Starbucks. Not the most glamorous, but it still paid for the gas for my car. Usually you wouldn’t think I would need it given how my life was but Raven had gotten a lot more adventurous with our sexual affairs. The bedroom was fun and a lot more passionate but she liked public places as well. The most fun we had was in the school gymnasium, dead centre, during school hours, both of us stark nude with no way of hiding our more private areas if caught. I will admit I was a little sad we had not been, however in hindsight, it was a good thing we weren’t. Still every Day Raven was coming up with much riskier places to fuck, today was the ball pit at Chucky Cheese. I wasn’t too keen on doing it there, and not because of the public area but more because of the children that ran around, that plus I knew most people who worked there. So the deal was I would agree, but we didn’t do it at the Chucky Cheese close to where we lived, so it was about an hour drive to the next one. When we got there it was extremely crowded, however we were not there to eat lunch, and given how nervous I was, I didn’t think I could have eaten even if I wanted to.

Now the challenge was not fucking in the ball pit, that part was easy, I could get hard anywhere by this point, and once we started fucking I could keep going no matter who started watching. The trick was going to be getting in there without anyone noticing two teenagers getting in the toddler’s ball pit, and then when finished getting out, again without being seen. Raven may have been getting somewhat crazy with her locations and to top it off never really planned out all the finer details. Still we figured just stay in the background and jump in one at a time when no one was looking. Surprisingly enough, that wasn’t too difficult. Raven was in the vey second she had a chance. The one thing I hated about all this however was the risks Raven took. While my plan was to just whip my cock out and fuck her, she was nude before I was even in the ball pit.

Soon enough I found my chance to get in and took it kneeing her in the hip as I toppled in, she yelped but it was masked by the
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>> No. 155 [Report]

More please good sir




No. 125 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]

tags: [bondage][slave][elf][gangbang][nonconsensual][training][alternative][m/f]

This has been knocking around in my head for a very long time. I need to get it the fuck out. Now, without further ado...

---

The sweat that trickled down her naked body presented an itch she couldn't scratch, not with her hands tied anyway. It was sweltering inside the covered wagon where she knelt, packed tightly into a crush of people bound the same way as she. Each time the wagon rocked she swayed into another sweat drenched body, women and girls and even a few young boys. But no elves. She was the last of the Sylvan, after all.

Human slavers had presented a threat to her people for many years. Elven slaves were in demand for their grace and beauty, but they were hard to catch, particularly Sylvan elves. Her clan had been lucky enough to evade the humans for the better part of three years, but the slavers grew smarter. Close calls turned into captures. Their numbers dwindled to almost nothing over the course of a single year, until all the Sylvan had left were their elderly, a score of men, and the single girl who had evaded capture: Princess Nessima.

They had struggled to protect her for so long. They had even begged her to go into human civilization, saying they could trim away her elvish ears with a knife and burn them. But Nessima was averse to this, both because of the prospect of leaving her people and because of the idea of mutilating her ears. Her pride proved to be her undoing. The slavers came one last time in the night, so great in number that there was no fighting them. They cut down the last of her clan as quickly as locusts devour a harvest.

She had tried to run, believing she had the advantage. She was smaller, faster, she knew the territory. This proved to be a fatal mistake, one she only understood the gravity of when she felt the rope of the trap she had tripped constrict around her ankle and pull, suspending her upside down. She barely caught the jangle of a cow bell under the sound of her own warbling shriek.

Nessima hung there, weeping quietly and praying to the gods, until the slavers came for her. She cursed th
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>> No. 135 [Report]

i vote for more training! and more myth because i love girly boys.


>> No. 136 [Report]

I find myself enjoying the character- I usually don't like characters that are royalty-simply because I see it as an overplayed anchor character. I do like that she is starting to see the merits of pleasure but keeping herself locked into her morality.
I would like to see her get sold with Myth...I would also like to see Myth crack and them escape to have her find love eventually, thought I seldom see happy endings in stories such as these. Either way, happy or sad- I will still read!


>> No. 137 [Report]

This was great. Really well done. Whether you really are going to continue this or not I want to congratulate you for the job you did so far.




No. 115 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]

Long time lurker here but this is my first time contributing. Comments and constructive criticism encouraged and appreciated.

Father/daughter, young girl, romantic(?), masturbation

I taught my little girl to masturbate when she was seven years old. Kayla and I have always been very close, her mother dying in child birth when we had her at seventeen. Since she was old enough to crawl she has always been very clingy, which I understand since we had no other family and she depended on me for everything. I never had any issue taking care of her, she was all I had as well and I loved that kid more than anything. My parents died just shortly after she was born, leaving me behind a hefty sum of money which I quickly learned to properly invest so I could support my little girl as well and for as long as she needed. I wasn’t rolling in cash, but we lived comfortably.
Kayla has always been a very slender girl, straight dark brown hair with flawless, pale, creamy colored skin, no freckles or birth marks, perfect teeth, none of that awkward appearance some kids don’t lose until puberty, and she remarkably avoided gaining any scars over her life. She was a beautiful girl, perfect in every way in my eyes. The most notable thing about her though was her eyes. They were differently colored, one being a clear deep green and the other a bright ice blue. Being the single father of that angel definitely helped bring in the women, or it would have if I’d been interested. After her mother died, Kayla was the only girl for me. I wouldn’t date or make booty calls as the idea of letting someone else look after my child while I was off doing something less important to me was repulsive. I spent those first few years before she could be left home alone taking care of myself, but still restraining myself as much as I could.
Ever since I taught her how to dress and undress herself, she spent as much time as she could naked. She just always hated wearing clothes at home, seeming uncomfortable. Sometimes she was too hot, sometimes her shirt was itchy, she always found an excuse. I tried to keep her dressed but it got to be such a pain that I didn’t care if she was naked as long as she stayed in
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>> No. 122 [Report]

>>120
>>121
While fun to write, my goal was to get people off so mission accomplished there.
About building to actual sex, it's getting to that. I won't spoil anything coming (I've got quite a bit of this outlined) but I don't want sex to be an end goal, more something that creeps up on them and then just happens.
When it happens though it's gonna be hot, I promise.


>> No. 123 [Report]

hello will you make more thanks


>> No. 124 [Report]

This was exactly what I was looking for when I popped in to /elit/ today. I can't wait for more!




No. 113 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]

Larry woke up and looked over at his alarm clock. The red lights said it was 2 am, and he sighed. He had only been asleep for a few hours and now he was wide awake. The doctor said that there was little that he could do for him and gave Larry some ambien to see if that helped him sleep all the way through the night, but on ambien he would wake up feeling sick instead of just waking up restless.

He climbed out of bed and put some pants on. Highschool wouldn't start for another 5 hours or so, so decided to get some water and read things online until sun-up. After an hour of browsing stories about burglars stories, he saw headlights pass across his window and then stop in front of the house.

Larry looked out the window and saw a station wagon parked out front and a male figure moving across his front lawn toward the house. He turned his monitor off and crept downstairs. The guy didn't come to the front door or the back door. Looking out the windows, Larry could figure out where he had gone. After a few minutes of waiting for something to happen, he decided that the guy was probably going to one of the neighbors houses or something and went back upstairs.

Outside his sister's room, he heard giggling, and he crept up to the door. He could hear the guy inside. So that's where he had been going. Larry listened to them talking for a minute, just smalltalk about school from the sound of it, and then he could hear them making out.

This was unexpected, not only was Michelle the head of the student honor society, but she was always such a bitch. Not just to him, but to everybody. She had a tendency to drive boyfriends away as quickly as she attracted them. She was tall and slim with long dark hair and enough cleavage to draw glances whenever they were in public. Larry sort of liked it when men looked at his sister.

He wanted to look and the door was shut of course, but there was a second door that went into her room through the bathroom it shared with the study. Larry crept into the study and then into the bathroom. She kept it spotless. When she was doing school clubs in the evenings he would sneak in and use her shower.

The
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>> No. 114 [Report]

You should continue.




No. 100 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]

Just started writing erotic lit and I'd love some feedback!

****

“Hey boss! We caught a snooper!”

Two men roughly dragged a young girl through the doors of a posh office and pushed her to the ground. She glared up at them and angrily shook her fist

“Geez you don't have to be so rough!”

Kitty Scopes was an intern reporter, she'd been helping out with an article about local organized crime. When she found some evidence that possibly linked one of the top law firms in the city with the notorious crime ring, she couldn't help taking her camera to the building on a sunday and poking around a bit. The journalist she'd been shadowing warned her not to go and do anything stupid, it wasn't hard evidence after all, but curiosity killed the cat right? Two large bodybuilder like men had caught her climbing through a window not even 10 minutes after she'd arrived. Sticking halfway out the window, camera in hand, she sheepishly told the guards that she was lost. They didn't really buy it. They hauled her out by the arms, kicking and screaming. They were completely ignored her protests, marching her straight up to the 50th floor and into this office.

Kitty regarded her surroundings, it was an ultra modern and expensive looking room. The desk in front of her was mahogany, but everything else was super sleek metal and glass. A man got up from behind the desk and eyed her skeptically. He looked to be about 30; maybe a little younger, tall, and incredibly handsome. Kitty guessed he must work at the firm, judging by his hand tailored suit he clearly had the cash to be employed here.

“What the hell is this, she's just a kid!” The man seemed beyond irritated as he looked Kitty over. She was a sophomore at the local college, but her slim petite figure gave her the appearance of a much younger girl. She wore a short pleated shirt and a slightly oversized sweater which added to her schoolgirl look. Pulling her hair back into pigtails wasn't helping much either.
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>> No. 104 [Report]

I really liked this. Do more if you like writing them :D


>> No. 105 [Report]

>>103
Sadly, the *chan's in general aren't good for editing. Otherwise I would be back-editing my stuff. Most of the time, you can easier find a website you can point them to (like I do with http://tsade.com/), repost the chapter as a reply, or let it go and move on.

Don't know if I'm squee worthy yet though, but thank you. :) I know that any comment is worth its weight in heroin when I get one, which is why I like to help.


>> No. 106 [Report]

Wow, SLP. This is extreme!
Extremely hot, that is!

I very much enjoyed it. I'm hoping there might be more, but I susppect this is just a one-shot. Nonetheless, keep at it. Write more, post it up here and get some more feedback.

I truly enjoyed the way you so smoothly peppered in the humiliation and the seamless change from dominant to submissive in Kitty's personality, the way she crumbles under the barrage




No. 98 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]

NOTE: This story is not mine. I found it on another site a couple years ago and saved it. i do not know the original author nor can I name teh site it was posted on. I am claiming no credit for this work, but i felt it would be nice to share it
=======================

"Are you sure this is what you want, my lovely roommate?"

Emily sat in her shared dorm room, looking down on the naked body of her roommate, Sarah. Both girls, having met during their first week at their new school, instantly fell in love with each other. But Emily had seen in her friend some interesting and thought provoking behaviors, and after a week, decided it was time to see if her friend really had wanted what Emily could offer. Sarah had squealed in delight as Emily ordered her to strip one night, and promptly shed her clothes dropping them all over the room. Emily had then promptly pulled Sarah over her lap and began spanking the messy girl, bringing forth squeaks and squeals and much kicking of legs, as her bottom was colored cherry red by Emily's expert hands, and the well used wooden hairbrush.

From that night on, Sarah was putty in Emily's hands, and Emily wasted no time in getting Sarah outfitted to be the dorm maid. Sarah and Emily spent the weekend after Sarah's spanking going to the local bondage stores, and picking out cuffs, outfits, and other items as Emily directed. When they got back to the dorm, Emily promptly had Sarah change into the new maid's uniform she had forced Sarah to buy, and smiled as Sarah slipped it on. The uniform skirt barely covered Sarah's ass, and the frilly panties were on display any time Sarah moved. Emily also had Sarah keep her hair up in a ponytail, and quickly picked out the clothes Sarah would wear from then on. No more tight jeans, instead it was short skirts and crop tops, the quintessential naughty schoolgirl or prim and proper maid.

Emily also had rearranged the dorm room too. Gone was Sarah's bed, instead there was a large dog cage and a pillow. Dog dishes replaced Sarah's kitchen dishes, and Sarah's diet was changed to promote foods that could be eaten from the bowls. The other girls in
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>> No. 99 [Report]

any more to this?




No. 89 [Report] hide watch quickreply [Reply]

Chapter Summery: Twin girls still at school after hours must find a way to relieve themselves when all the bathrooms are closed...

-

- 6:21 P.M. -

It's in the day and the local school day had ended some hours ago and thus, lacks many of the students and even staff, not even enough to run the building, simply getting ready to depart. Two students, perhaps the only ones still in the building, where part of this final departure. Fourteen year old twins, Tammy and Emma, finishing their lacrosse practice.

“Man, I'm worn out!” declares Tammy, with a smile on her face as she and her sister walk into the locker room, carrying their lacrosse sticks on their shoulders.

“Yeah, me too...” adds Emma. “I was able to improve my passing though, so I'm happy.”

-

Although dressed in the same, grass-stained, sweaty uniform, consisting of an orange T-shirt and black spats, with the protective elbow, wrist and kneepads; while twins, the two were quite different from each other.
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>> No. 95 [Report]

>>93
thanks for the critique, I know my writing is no where near perfect, but it has been getting slowly better over the years I've been writing. I can't even read my first ever story without cringing. It's so bad. >_<

while I can agree with everything you say, your first comment:

> When someone says something, avoid wording it using "declares", "adds", etc., unless this is necessary.

confuses me, I use terms like that a lot. What am I supposed to use then after a character has finished speaking and when are terms like that ok to use?


>> No. 96 [Report]

>>95
I guess a good way to explain this is through some examples:

1. " 'Man, I'm worn out!' declares Tammy, with a smile on her face [...]"

2. " 'Yeah, me too...' adds Emma."

In the first example, I wouldn't use "declares", because it seems a bit exaggerated. When you look up the definition of "declare", you get stuff like "1. To make known formally or officially.", which I don't think fits as the sentence continues "with a smile on her face".

In the second example, I wouldn't use "adds", because it feels redundant. Emma already said "too", so it's already clear to the reader that she is adding it.

For those reasons I would replace both "declares" and "adds" with "says", in this case.

I am not saying you should always use "says". It's just that in a lot of cases I think it's the right thing to do. Also, please notice how I say "I wouldn't" and "I think", because it is this with which I mean to show that this is my opinion, and not something set in stone.


>> No. 97 [Report]

>>96
ah, I see your point now, I always use 'adds' with it's the same character speaking again within the same block of text. I guess it's not really necessary since each new speaker gets a new line of text.




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